Grief after the death of someone you love is not an illness, and there is no right timeline for it. For most people, the pain slowly becomes something they can carry. For about 1 in 10 bereaved people, grief stays as intense as it was in the first weeks, month after month, and takes over daily life. Clinicians call this prolonged grief disorder, sometimes known as complicated grief. This self-assessment covers what they ask about. Answer about the past month.
This self-assessment is for information only. It is not a diagnostic tool and cannot replace an evaluation by a licensed mental health professional. If you are in crisis or thinking about harming yourself, call or text 988 or call 911.
Grief Self-Assessment
Thinking about the person who died, in the past month have you:
- Felt intense longing or yearning for the person nearly every day?
- Been preoccupied with thoughts or memories of them for much of the day?
- Felt that part of you died with them, or that you no longer know who you are without them?
- Found it hard to believe the death really happened?
- Avoided reminders of the person, or the opposite, been unable to let go of their belongings, routines or places?
- Felt intense emotional pain, such as anger, bitterness or sorrow, connected to the death?
- Found it hard to re-engage with friends, work, interests or plans for the future?
- Felt emotionally numb or detached?
- Felt that life is meaningless or empty without them?
- Felt intensely lonely, as if no one understands?
What Your Answers May Mean
In the first months after a loss, most of these experiences are normal grief. What distinguishes prolonged grief disorder is time and impairment: intense yearning or preoccupation (questions 1 and 2) nearly every day for at least 12 months after the death in adults, along with several of the other experiences listed, to a degree that disrupts work, relationships or daily functioning and goes beyond what is expected in your culture or community. If that describes you, or if grief has brought thoughts of not wanting to live, please talk to a clinician. Grief can also trigger a major depressive episode, PTSD, or heavier drinking or drug use, each of which is treatable.
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What Prolonged Grief Disorder Is
Prolonged grief disorder was added to the DSM-5-TR in 2022 and to the World Health Organization’s ICD-11. It is more likely after a sudden, violent or unexpected death, the death of a child or partner, or when the bereaved person has a history of depression, anxiety or trauma, limited support, or was the primary caregiver. Learn more about grief and loss.
How Prolonged Grief Is Treated
- Prolonged grief therapy (also called complicated grief treatment), a structured, evidence-based approach that helps you both face the loss and rebuild a life that includes it
- Cognitive behavioral therapy adapted for grief
- Treatment of co-occurring depression, PTSD or substance use, including medication where appropriate; antidepressants alone do not treat grief itself but help when depression is present
- Support groups for bereaved people, which reduce isolation
See depression, inpatient mental health treatment and online counseling.
Want to talk to someone about your results? Our admissions team can arrange a confidential assessment with a licensed clinician and explain treatment options, from outpatient therapy to inpatient care. Verify your insurance or call any time.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long is too long to grieve?
There is no limit on grief. The concern is not how long you feel sad but whether, a year or more later, grief is still as intense as at the beginning and is keeping you from living.
Is complicated grief the same as depression?
No. Depression involves a pervasive low mood and loss of pleasure in most things; prolonged grief centers on yearning for the person who died. They can occur together.
Can grief cause physical symptoms?
Yes. Sleep problems, fatigue, appetite changes, chest tightness and a weakened immune response are common, especially in the first months.
Is it normal to drink more after a loss?
It is common, and it is a warning sign. Alcohol worsens sleep and mood and can turn grief into a second problem. Help is available for both.
Does insurance cover grief counseling?
Most plans cover mental health treatment under federal parity law. Verify your coverage in minutes.
