In active cocaine addiction, most users believe that using enhances the social experience. I know for me, I looked at cocaine as a necessity to my partying because I thought it fueled my ability to drink more, feel cooler and engage in more spontaneous behavior and conversation.
When you first start using cocaine, especially as part of your socializing regimen, it can appear that it’s helping you increase your chances for fun and make new relationships with people. It gives you a physical high and this provides a rush of energy as well as adrenaline. Naturally, the boost makes people feel like they are invincible. This is what hooks people almost immediately.
Cocaine is a very prevalent party drug and goes hand-in-hand with alcohol, binge drinking and being social for many people in our society. Many people think it makes their socializing capabilities better. I know because I was one of them.
However, after getting sober and reflecting on my cocaine misuse I have realized how horrible it actually is for creating connections with others in a genuine way. Cocaine is actually not a benefit to socializing, contrary to popular belief.
Here are some reasons why.
1. False Friendships
As people drink and binge on cocaine together they cross paths with many people doing the same. You find yourself in random places, with random people, having random conversations. These people can be portrayed as friends and they are usually nice people.
The issue is that party friends are not often real friends and when the party is over they are typically not who you interact with on a regular basis outside of the party. They are not the people you call when life knocks you down or you need a helping hand. The friendships you tend to make under the influence of cocaine are not the same friendships you will call on when things get tough or life happens.
I remember after getting sober I realized a lot of the “friends” I thought I had were nowhere to be found.
2. Inauthentic Connections
Let’s be honest we are all seeking connection in our lives. This is a huge factor in why people drink and use cocaine in the first place. People use because they are looking to connect with others and themselves in ways they don’t realize they can without substances.
The problem with socializing with cocaine is that you make inauthentic connections with people that often are disguised as the intimate type of connection we are all truly looking for in life.
I can think back to so many times that I thought I was having engaging conversations with others, but in the end I realize it was just the drugs talking. While I value everyone I met on my party path and believe we connected on the level of sharing a high together, I know now that the connections I thought I was making weren’t the authentic kind I really desired.
Being sober has helped me to see what true authentic connection with others feels like and has shown me the stark contrast between these kinds of connections and the ones made while I was using cocaine. I can only think of a handful of people who I used to party with who I still am in contact with to this day, 9 years later, which goes to show you that those connections weren’t the ones I would take with me on my life journey.
Along with the rush from cocaine also comes the complimentary anxiety. It happens while you are in social settings and it also happens when you start to come down from a cocaine binge. While you are being social, you feel a level of anxiousness that takes you out of the moment in most settings and conversations. It can be extremely distracting and can make you talk over people and lose attention very quickly. It takes away from socializing because in the mind anxiety can consume a person’s thoughts.
Not only that, but as you come down and experience withdrawal after a cocaine binge it makes your interactions harder because you experience anxiety on that side of the drug too, which makes people moody and irritable.
Finding recovery from cocaine addiction has helped me recover from anxiety. It has shown me that I much prefer to be fully present and calm in social settings.
4. Being Obnoxious
From conversations to even photographs, cocaine, especially when mixed with alcohol, can cause you to behave and look extremely erratic. Looking back on the things I used to say and do while under the influence embarrasses me just thinking about it.
Cocaine makes you think no one knows you’re on it, but from the outside looking in, it’s obvious when you are around someone who is using the drug. They talk fast, move their mouth around, sweat and don’t make eye contact at all.
I also noticed how my face looked in photos while I was under the influence of cocaine and hardly any photos showed me smiling or looking put-together. In almost all my pictures I had a smug face, my pupils were dilated and I looked like a snob. If that’s how I looked in photos, I’m certain that is how I looked to others too and no matter how we frame it, it isn’t a good look.
5. Selfish Motives
Cocaine makes you become a self-centered and selfish person subconsciously, whether we realize it or not. You turn into someone who will go to any length to get your next gram or eight ball, even if that means leaving friends or loved ones behind.
There were many times when I would completely disappear to the bathroom for an hour, or to find cocaine somewhere without telling anyone where I was.
Socializing is meant for being social, not being closed off and stuck on a one-way street to find and do cocaine. Cocaine makes socializing harder in this sense. Instead of being focused on others, you become focused on yourself and when you can take your next bump or line.
At the end of the day, cocaine hinders our ability to socialize as our true selves and this blocks us from true friendships, connections, interactions and motives. Cocaine does not showcase who we really are. In fact, it keeps us from understanding who we are and how to be social beings.