Have you ever found yourself in a relationship headed nowhere, but you still convinced yourself that you’d never find anyone else if you walked away? I have been that person in multiple situations, and even though I’m not proud of that, I am proud that I eventually learned the lesson I needed to learn: I have always been allowed to walk away from anything or anyone who was toxic for me.
Acknowledge That Manipulation Is Not Love
Anytime you feel like you’re doing something out of obligation or fear, it may just be because the person you love has manipulated you to believe that you’re wrong by doing anything else. That by doing as they say and following their “rules,” you’re handing them the power, even though you may have no idea you’re being influenced. People with this set of skills are good at what they do for a reason. They can convince you that their manipulation is love. They can make you believe that without them, you’d feel less than and unworthy, but in reality, the opposite is true.
By standing up for yourself and recognizing when you’re being taken advantage of, you regain control — and hopefully, the momentum — you need to realize the relationship has been based on manipulation, not love. These patterns and tendencies are not easy to break, but it can be done. You must first realize that you’re allowed to leave this kind of abuse.
Don’t Assume You’ll Be Alone Forever If You Leave
One of the biggest fears of people who are thinking of walking away from a manipulative relationship is that they’ll never find anyone else. It’s a strange fear, but when you’ve been constantly abused by someone who claims to love you, you can start to believe that’s how you deserve to be treated. It can be even harder to walk away when your partner’s manipulative behavior shows after you fell in love with them. When your mind becomes poisoned by bad treatment, you can easily justify staying in something that you should be quickly running away from. This is why it’s not easy to just walk away.
Although there may still be battles to face when you finally do end the relationship, embrace the change, because being alone in the next season might be exactly what you need. But don’t assume you’ll be alone forever.
Change the Way You Look at “Leaving”
Perhaps you’re afraid to walk away because of the uncertainty about the next step. Instead of seeing it as the end to something, see it as an opportunity for growth, self-love, and eventually, the relationship you never knew existed. Those of us who know what it’s like to stay in a toxic relationship know just how warped the mind can become, so even the thought of leaving can cause panic and anxiety. If this is the kind of emotion that surfaces when you consider leaving, it may be a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship.
When you find someone who has good intentions for you, wants to treat you right, and shows you what you were missing all along, you’ll never have to wonder if you should leave them behind. They’ll never make you question your worth, and most importantly, they’ll never make you question their behavior. Love based on fear is NOT love at all, and it’s a sure sign that you should leave the relationship. Remember, you are allowed to do so, and the sooner you do, the better.