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The Unhealthy Life of the PartyLet it be known that it’s possible to be the life of the party without going overboard. The healthy life of the party is outgoing, extroverted and charming. I just happened to be a sick introvert who wanted to be heard, and the only way for me to do that was through substance and alcohol abuse. For me, alcohol provided a kind of confidence I was not able to attain when sober. It allowed me to take down the walls I always had up, forget about whatever was causing me anxiety or depression at that moment, and become someone else. Someone I was only able to be when the drinks started flowing. What I refused to see was that no matter how much alcohol temporarily made my life feel easier, there was always still a looming sadness that came back when I sobered up. By becoming the life of the party and avoiding what was really going on in my life, it was easy to make it seem like I was a happy person. In reality, I was just numbing a pain that demanded to be felt.
A New Life in RecoveryMy stint as the life of the party came to an abrupt stop when I found myself at my own personal rock bottom. Before that point, I never once thought my behavior was something to be worried about. Eventually I kept finding myself in positions that should cause someone worry, and became aware of my addiction. And that lifestyle that I had grown to love for far too long? Well, I realized that it was not all that glamorous or fulfilling to begin with. No one ever sets out with the intention of discovering that they are the perfect candidate for mental health and substance use disorders. But in the end, life is just a matter of learning who we are and doing our best to cope with what we find. My life in recovery is the best life I have lived thus far. Discovering who I am, accepting what I cannot change, and learning to be the healthy version of the life of the party have all been key factors in my recovery journey. I no longer feel the need to live for the approval of others, because I finally approve of how I am living for myself.
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- Therapy Is Not A Bad Word - April 6, 2018
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- 5 Ways to Become Independent of Your Codependency - April 2, 2018
- How Can I Explain My Mental Illness to Those Closest to Me? - March 28, 2018
- Taking Time to Journal Could Save Your Life - March 14, 2018
- Honesty is the Key to My Recovery - March 11, 2018
- Your Diagnosis Doesn’t Define You - February 20, 2018
- Feeling Shame is Nothing to Be Ashamed About - February 18, 2018
- How To Leave a Toxic Relationship - February 16, 2018